Dissonance :: a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.

I searched through pages of blog archives trying to find the post that said what I’m feeling right now. I could swear I wrote one, maybe two about this feeling exactly… but there were none.

I feel like our marriage is dying and I don’t know how to save it. Our son could be born any day now and I can’t help but think he’s arriving to a broken, fractured home. I try reaching out to the sailor and hear nothing in reply. I feel alone in our marriage, and not just because of the thousands of miles between us. Where is he? Am I overreacting, feeling as if he has abandoned our relationship emotionally?

It isn’t supposed to be like this.