A Little Bit Alone

My mom leaves today..

Two months ago I was apprehensive about her staying with me, but her help has been invaluable during the seven weeks she was here. I can’t say it enough, that I appreciate her helping me out. She helped me with so much around the house, cooked meals for me when I was too pregnant and once the baby was here, too tired. Walked with me to kick-start labor, and stayed by my side through the entire delivery of her grandson. She was the emotional support I needed to make it through those first few sleepless weeks. Helped me through becoming a new mom, and navigating how to communicate with my husband who is a new dad, but doesn’t feel like it or accept it yet.

I’m scared to be alone with a baby, even though he is mine. It’s an overwhelming and scary thought knowing that I will have to be everything he needs, and knowing that I will fall short sometimes.. I know that I’ll have to “work it out” because as a deployment-generated “single mother” that’s the only choice I have.

It’s a sad thing to admit that I’m looking forward to my husband coming home, but at the same time, I know it will be another hard transition. Thank God for all the baby smiles and coos and memories in the making that will get me through.

And as my grandma always told me, so my mom told my son, “I can’t come back if I never leave.”

Screen shot 2012-10-26 at 2.09.01 AM

One thought on “A Little Bit Alone

  1. Chelle, You are an amazing woman (remember, we said no one is a man or woman until they’ve had a child? well congratulations, you are a woman now :] ) and a strong one at that. Ever since first meeting you freshman year of college and finding out we had the same major and seeing who you’ve become today is such a huge and wonderful change. You’ve grown so much and will continue to grow into and even more amazing, sweet, caring, compassionate person, friend and mother (sorry for all the adjectives, but one word just wouldn’t get across what i’m trying to say). I miss us hanging out and going on crazy random adventures or even just sitting in my room on the floor and talking for hours on end. I miss you best friend, but seeing/reading what you’ve accomplished brings such happiness to myself. You’re my best friend and although we haven’t been able to talk for quite some time now, being my best friend will never change. I know you can rock this whole motherhood thing, because I know what kind of person you are. You’re a very strong and independent person. Elliott is so lucky to have you as a mother :] I look forward to the day I text you a picture of my pee stick and ask “DO YOU SEE A SECOND LINE??”

    I know i’ve said it a million times already, but congratulations on becoming a mother. I’m not yet one, but I hope you know you can still call or text me anytime you need to talk, even just to vent. I MISS you! (in a close-sister best friend kind of way) You’re seriously an inspiration to me :]

    <3 Air Bear

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