8 Weeks Later

Tomorrow the little man will be eight weeks old. During tonight’s snuggle session I had a chance to look at the photos taken during his birth. I uploaded them when I got the disk from my doula, but I wasn’t ready to look at them before.. Something about that night was too raw to face any sooner than now; perhaps that my husband is missing from the pictures, or knowing I was far from my ideal weight at that time.

But it was more than that. I wasn’t ready to experience those moments from someone else’s eyes, for the fear that it wasn’t everything I remembered it to be. That somehow it had only been magical in my mind.

I held my breath, and I saw me becoming a mom. The concentration it took, the pain I can recall but can’t really remember. The ugly cry face I knew I was making but couldn’t stop…and then the look of pure love, staring down at this new and perfect, tiny human. I’m thankful those memories were captured for me.

And although I am far from having “baby fever” I can see why moms are willing to go through labor again and again. For those first moments when you are able to hold your whole world in your arms.
Screen shot 2012-10-26 at 2.09.01 AM

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