Dissonance :: A tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.
I have lost my best friend. I lost him a long time ago, actually. I can’t pinpoint exactly when.. It was so gradual, such a slow process that even though it was happening right in front of my eyes, I failed to see it.
I failed to notice the dissonance creeping in. That the ways in which we clashed began grossly outnumbering the ways in which we got along. That there was very little we actually agreed on, that we had no business carrying on as if everything were fine like we did.
We had no business buying a house or having a baby or anything of that nature. We were fools, in and out of love so fast it almost makes my head spin thinking about it now.
It was an unfinished story and bets were placed that everything would be okay, but it wasn’t.. And it isn’t.
It begs the question why we ever got married, because certainly, by that point, we were already well on our way here. It didn’t happen overnight. We fell out of love so, so slowly. One miscommunication at a time. Argument after small argument building and adding up to wasted tears falling.
To fix this, it, us feels impossible because so little remains. Why did we fall in love in the first place? What was that charm, that spell cast over those days, now years ago..?
It is impossible for anyone but God to help heal these wounds attained from foul emotional play. Words like daggers meant to cut and damage. Tearing apart any of the good left.
What good is left?