This morning a photo album posted by a Facebook friend stabbed an old wound right open. Pinched and hurt until tears fell from my eyes, because two years ago I was in this woman’s shoes. A scared, brand new single mom with not only my whole life in front of me, but a baby’s literal entire life as well. It was so much. Some days are still more difficult than others.
But I have grown since then. My focal prayers, the ones I always come back to, have changed from patience and understanding to acceptance, peace, grace… I will always be working on those, to choose kindness over quick whit, to maintain a solid stance when my whole world is shaking. Today my prayers and thoughts and happy vibes (whatever works for them, whatever you will accept) are for those single moms, stuck so deep in the trenches it feels like there may be no light again. Because I have been there. I hope for more good days for them, more love and happy memories to wash away old regrets and what ifs.
Many things have changed in the past year alone.. My life has been blessed by the man who saw me, past the broken little bits and all the walls with which I tried to shield myself. He has become my true partner for all our current and future shenanigans. I am so thankful for his getting up with the hurricane in the middle of the night, for missing our son when he’s away at grandmas, for treating him like his own child, love and discipline and laughter and all.. We make this weird and awesome little family.
I don’t know.. It has been a particularly stressful week. Psychological warfare at work, pleasant enough yet taxing visits with the ex-husband and his family, and an awful case of allergies/maybe a head cold. I am looking forward to a whole lot of nothing this weekend. A whole weekend without the hurricane, without studying, without walking on eggshells. Life is good…sometimes you just have to walk past darkness into the light. Sometimes it helps to have someone show you the way.
As always before,