I renewed my blog. Not because I am sure I will write more than I did last year…or write at all to be honest. I have a lot of content here that I’m not ready to lose, backed up or not. And I will always have more to say.
Last year was terrible. My faith in God tested in more ways that I care to recount, but I made it through. Most of us, at the very least, made it through. But now, I don’t know what I want this blog to be.. I leaned heavily on Instagram as my platform of choice to share my year – participating in project 366 – and lost my voice in a way. Photo comments can only say so much, even with a picture being worth 1,000 words. And there is always, always that undertone of playing to a particular audience. Can’t post baby-loss stuff lest my mom think I need to see a shrink (not that there is anything wrong with counseling.) Can’t post my proud mom moments because I might offend my loss mommas who don’t yet have a child in their arms. I posted every day, challenge completed successfully, and I think it was just enough to be a lifeline; just enough to pull myself through the darkness of career upheaval, general life struggles and pregnancy losses.
Anyway, I am a writer by default. Rambling through life to the best of my ability. I’m hopeful this year will contain more joy than the last three combined and considering recent history, I’m really not asking for a whole lot.
Whoever you are, if you are, I hope you are well.