The boyfriend has been bugging me about church for over a month now. Mornings are not my favorite time of day, and Sunday is not an exception. In fact, the only thing I really want to do on weekend mornings is sleep in. Fat chance of that happening with a toddler in the house, but a mom can dream. And if I can’t dream because I was woken up early (again), I can at least enjoy a cup of coffee or two in relative peace. So unfortunately, church often takes a back burner to being lazy, in an attempt to relax. Just being honest here.
When I first moved back to the valley, I did not feel comfortable going to “my church.” It was the one I attended in middle school, the one that helped me find God. The same church I attended with my then-husband. The one his family had attended when they were still local. The idea of going back there did not feel comfortable. I did not believe that I could go, a new divorcee, and not be judged. But eventually, I felt the need to be there surpass my discomfort so I swallowed my pride, and found a seat.
I am long past feeling uncomfortable, but do still feel a disconnect. My church was typically well suited for me. Began as a baptist church, and moved to a more non-denominational way of teaching the Bible. It was not the only church I tried out in the area (went to a Catholic church and Methodist church a couple times with friends), but fit me best. Now, as an adult and as someone who is divorced, I am disheartened that they skirt over the issue and do not offer a divorce care class. I know, without a doubt, that I am not the only divorced Christian in this city. I know I am not the only working mom, whose original intentions did not include working while my child was still young. And yet the women’s bible studies are offered at dinner time on a Tuesday or early on weekday mornings. This particular church supports those with addictions, christian camps, a local food pantry, a pregnancy outreach center.. but what about the single moms, the working moms, the divorced?
I guess I am disappointed. I was there with 2,000 other people at the Easter Sunday service when they said they would be doing remarkable things in the coming year… and aside from sermons reminding us not to compare ourselves to others and how as we travel through life God should be the first thing we consider, I am just not seeing it. Maybe I have high standards. Scratch that, I know I have high standards, but if the boyfriend wants me to go to church, I am going to be the driving force behind some new ministries, or I am finding another one that fits who I am now and challenges me to grow as a Christian. Besides the fellowship and church karaoke, is that not the biggest point in giving up relatively quiet mornings at home?